The name of this article could go one of two ways:
1.) You already have a boatload of guns and don’t really need another one and your spouse knows it.
2.) You are worried about the safety and security of your family and want a gun to protect them.
If you fall into category 1, I can’t really help you. I’m not going to advocate lying to your spouse. If you can come up with a REALLY good reason then good for you! Pass it on to the rest of the world!
As for reason 2, I applaud you for what you are doing. Taking this step to protect your family is huge and putting you on the right path to being your own first responder. Unfortunately, you are now up against a solid barrier that most likely pertains to the fear of guns. I can imagine the conversation that you may have had with your spouse:
You: Hey honey, I’ve been watching the news and don’t really like what has been happening from a crime perspective. I think I want to buy a gun to protect our family.
Spouse: Absolutely not! Guns are dangerous and we have kids in the house. What if they got ahold of it!?
You: But honey, I’ll be responsible and store it in a safe.
Spouse: NO!
At this point you walk away angry and dejected and your spouse walks away thinking you might be crazy but smug in the fact that they “put their foot down.”
What causes this response? The fear of an inanimate object. Unfortunately, as much as you watch the news and see the headlines about rising crime and think, “I want to protect my family,” your spouse sees, “5 Killed by an Assault Rifle.” Or, worse yet, your spouse knows someone familiar who has been killed by a gun and is absolutely terrified of what they can do.
Either way, you are fighting a battle. Whichever battle you are facing doesn’t matter. As the quote in the picture states, “Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out.” Through a series of responsible maneuvers, you will hopefully be able to change the mind of your spouse in a productive manner that makes you both happy.
Step 1:
Educate yourself so that you are speaking from a position of educated, rational authority, rather then from a position of sheer emotion. If you are simply speaking from the position of “crime is on the rise,” then you are woefully prepared to defend why you need a gun when pressed.
Why is crime on the rise?
What kind of crime is increasing?
What are the police/authorities doing to stop crime?
What are the police response times if/when an incident occurs?
You need to be knowledgeable and able to answer basic questions like these so that you can begin a conversation with your spouse discussing what is ACTUALLY happening, not what COULD happen. All of the information that you need can be found using reliable resources. Please, do not use your friends Uncle Charlie as a solid reference when your spouse knows that they drink to much and can’t remember what they did two days ago. You will lose credibility rapidly and indefinitely in most cases.
-Find the crime statistics in your state and local areas through the state police, local police, and other authorities that actually track the information. Be ready to produce this information either physically or through memory.
-Look up the statistics and articles related to individuals using firearms to protect themselves and others. Sadly, the news will usually discuss how you are more likely to be killed with your own firearm then actually stopping a bad guy with said firearm. This is provably false when you look at the death rate by firearm versus the number of times a firearm has helped save lives.
-Educate yourself on the type of firearm you want to purchase whether it be a rifle, shotgun or pistol. Discuss its merits as a viable home defense weapon and how it can be used against an intruder.
-Learn the laws of your state regarding home defense and be able to articulate what it would look like if you were to ever need your gun in a defensive situation.
Each of the above categories of knowledge are easily learned and have a lot of reliable source information. Once again, if you are able to approach your spouse with a rational, logical reason for needing a gun, you stand a better chance of succeeding. Now, even after educating yourself properly, you may still be facing a tough road ahead. Cognitive dissonance is real and greatly affects individuals. As you present valid information, a person can become more entrenched in their beliefs. You need to be careful about your approach and not come on too strong. If you think you will be facing a tough road then slow down how much you bring up and when. Don’t bring it up when emotions are charged, particularly if an incident with a gun is being blasted on the news, or when something else is occurring that will not allow for rational thought to be achieved. Unfortunately, this is not something I can directly help you with because I do not know your spouse. Be smart about what you say and when you bring it up.
Step 2:
After you have educated yourself, then you need to look into and/or take some form of legitimate firearms training. A typical argument that you might hear from your spouse is, “you don’t know anything about guns, you’ll shoot yourself or someone else!” While this may be inaccurate (I don’t know your familiarity with guns) it will help assuage your spouse’s feelings of fear if you were to be professionally trained.
You can look up courses run through the NRA, USCCA, or any other confirmed, professionally run company. Once again, saying that you are going out to take some lessons from your cousin who was in the military ten years ago may not suffice. Will you have to lay out some money for this? Yes. Will it most likely provide you with a stepping stone to purchasing your gun? If your spouse is reasonable, then yes. If they are unreasonable, then you are still fighting a battle. The last piece of the puzzle that is usually a major sticking point is how the gun will be stored in the house. Remember, fear of a “deadly weapon” being inside the walls of THEIR house is one of the driving emotions.
Step 3:
You have now increased your knowledge and increased your physical ability by receiving training. Now you must show your spouse how you intend on keeping your new gun in the house. Whether you choose to buy a full sized safe, a smaller nightstand style safe, a trigger lock, or some other style of security, you need to have it in your home before you bring the gun home. Your spouse is going to want to know exactly how you intend on keeping that gun out of the hands of your children and how it would be impossible for them to gain access.
Regardless of what safe you buy, you must buy something that makes your SPOUSE happy, not necessarily you. Unfortunately, at this point, you might need to give up quick access for a higher level of security. Either way, you now have the gun that you wanted.
Step 4:
After you have purchased the gun, you now have the responsibility of maintaining your knowledge, continuing your training, and proving that you are willing and able to keep the gun safely stored. At any point if you slip up then you may find yourself with a spouse who wants you to get rid of your gun.
-Don’t let up on your research and accrued knowledge about current events regarding crime and safety.
-Go to a range and/or join a range and go regularly. Also, practice your dry firing at home and increase your skills.
-ALWAYS keep your gun secured when not being used for training. If at any point your spouse or worse yet, child is able to gain unrestricted access, you have lost all credibility.
Conclusion
I hope that this four-step process will help you achieve your goal of purchasing a gun. I do believe that being “your own first responder” is crucial to the safety of yourself and loved ones. Please take the time to become a responsible gun owner. Become someone who your spouse trusts to own a gun for protection and not someone they feel is a liability.
Stay safe. Stay educated. Stay practical.
-Pat
Comentarios